Scripture: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15 NIV

We are like children playing on a seesaw, a teeter-totter.  When each one is of a similar weight and in a similar situation, all is well.  When one goes up, the other goes down.  “How are you today?” “Just fine. How are you?” “Fine..” Etc. ad infinitum.

But then one of us becomes burdened and the center of gravity shifts.  One may fall into depression.  The natural response of the other is to move farther away, to try to cheer the partner up.  The farther away from our heart-reality one of us goes, the farther the other must go.  We do not realize we are pushing the other away. The depressed becomes more depressed, while the “cheerful one” becomes frustrated.  We polarize.

If one partner in a marriage wants the irresponsibility of youth, the other will become more responsible.  If one has a terminal disease and fears death, the other refuses to talk about “what-if.” I know. I have been in both situations and experienced the ineffectiveness of polarization.

The answer, of course, is for both to move more toward the center.  The overly responsible partner can be less judgmental and more playful. The couple faced with unsolvable problems will benefit when both admit their fears.

Those who love the depressed person need to listen, suspend judgment, and acknowledge their friend’s pain. Come closer to their heart and try to understand what the other is feeling.  It’s difficult—and perhaps dangerous, for our own emotions may take a toll. But this is love that sustains and heals. This is the love of Jesus.

I think of how Jesus sat beside Mary and Martha, holding their hands and weeping with them, letting His own heart break with theirs.  Even though He knew their brother would be raised, He entered into their grief and shared it completely. No greater picture of empathy has ever been drawn.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, too often I want to avoid the pain of others and try to cheer them when I should be sharing their grief.  Please change my heart and help me show Your love. In Your name, amen.